Exactly what we're doing

My Dad and Debbie were visiting this weekend and my dad mentioned conversations he had had with other people who either have adopted or know someone who has adopted. I realized that in those conversations, he - and most of our family members - might hear the other people's stories but not know enough about our own process to reply with what we are doing, what agency we're using, why we chose Ethiopia, etcetera.

So this is for all of you, though it's based on an email I sent my dad to give a better picture of what's been going on "behind the scenes" in our adoption. Here are some resources that will help you to communicate with others exactly what your son/daughter/sister/brother/niece/nephew/cousin is doing.

Good links to learn about our experience:

• Our agency's international adoption program: http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/International_Adoption.html
• General Ethiopia adoption information from our agency (with links on left side to more details): http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia_Adoptions.html
• The process: http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia_Adoption_Process.html
• There is a great video near the bottom of this page (it says multimedia - CHSFS Ethiopia Care Center): http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia_s_Children.html
• Photos of what Ethiopian kids look like: http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Family_Photo_Album6.html
• What we’ll be doing when we travel to Ethiopia (there is also a link that explains the benefits of traveling): http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Escort_Policy.html

Also if you haven’t read There is No Me Without You yet there is a lot of information on Ethiopia’s history in there and on why there are so many orphans there.

If/when people ask why we chose Ethiopia, you can tell them:

• our caseworker recommended it
• at the time we switched from domestic to international, the expected wait for Ethiopian referrals was 6-9 months – one of the shortest compared to other countries which were continuing to increase (but yes, I knew it would really be at least 12. By the time our dossier was accepted, the new estimate was 9-12 months, and now it is 12-18 months).
• the adoption process through Ethiopia is fairly streamlined compared to other countries, and the government supports the ethical adoption of orphans by international parents
• there are 4.5 million orphans in Ethiopia, so it seemed like a place with a great need for adoptive parents
• we’ll have the opportunity to learn about the culture and heritage of a country we knew little about, and we’ll get to travel to Africa as part of the process
• after being in the domestic process for two years and finding that we had a choice between a roller coaster and a racket (or both), we were glad to switch to a process with a more predictable timeline
• Ethiopia is one of the few countries where you don’t have to stay in country for months or make more than one trip
• Ethiopia is one of the few countries where the infant you bring home is still an infant; a lot of other countries will refer an infant, but then by the time you get through all the red tape you are bringing home a 3 or 4 year old
• we were expecting to adopt transracially when we were in the domestic process, so we did not feel a need to choose a country where the child would be more likely to "look like us"
• we wanted to choose a country and program in which infants and young children waiting for adoption are not "warehoused" or neglected
• because Ethiopia has a relatively stable government we do not have to worry as much about the process "rupturing" or going on hold, as it has in China and Guatemala in recent years
• we were impressed by our agency’s care centers, where the children are cared for by nannies and there is a 1:3 child:adult ratio and doctors on staff
• we were impressed by our agency’s interest in not only helping to find homes for children, but also their interest in building infrastructures to make life better for people in Ethiopia; they have built medical schools, nursing schools, elementary schools, and care centers, and they hire and train local people to work as the staff in these establishments.
• although a number of agencies are currently being caught in immoral "harvesting" schemes in Ethiopia, our agency continues to emphasize ethical practices and communicates exactly what it is doing to maintain those practices. Although no agency is perfect, and there is bound to be corruption whenever money is involved in anything, I trust that our agency is trying really hard to avoid corruption. It does not give referrals until each child's background and situation has been researched as thoroughly as possible. According to the agency, only children who do not have any other family to take care of them are referred for adoption.

I hope this information helps everyone understand our experience a little bit better. Please do ask us questions.

Thanks for your support,

Julie